Sunday, March 1, 2020

EMAIL MESSAGE #3 TO SENATOR ANNA ESCHOO:


"Here is the very simple and inexpensive ~ yet ultra-complex idea that I am proposing to calm traffic here in Silicon Valley: You have yards full of safety cones somewhere right?  All you government people who may be reading this message? Ok perfect...

Now all I am saying is redirect those safety cones to all of the highly traversed crosswalks in the region and bolt them down to the street with 3-4 bolts going down into a female units sunk down into the pavement (see photo above) Two bolts on each edge of the crosswalk along the bike lane lines and one in the middle to help choke traffic a little bit without having to stop traffic altogether with flashing lights on a crosswalk...This would be a simple cheap and effective solution to make neighborhoods safer yesterday without expensive contractors bidding for multi-million dollar contracts...After going around in circles with the City of Santa Clara for years with that city killing two successful petitions for speed humps in this neighborhood; and also after seeing how Voss Avenue in Cupertino got speed heavy-handed humps without any public approval (a good idea actually; as public safety is not something to take lightly) then after thinking about it for many years due to this gross negligence and foot dragging that very likely helped get someone run over down the street a few months ago -- this seemed like an inexpensive and effective solution that could be up and running next week without causing all of the noise that most speed humps cause at night when people are trying to sleep...

What I am proposing is: forget about having endless meetings for the next 5 years discussing what to do about the traffic mess here in so many Silicon Valley neighborhoods; just got out and place 3 safety cones on every crosswalk that is problematic and/or highly traversed; then you will see that you will need less or no meetings for this issue; and therefore making room for other equally pressing issues that need to be dealt with ASAP... 

Which is why I always say that I am the unelected; unappointed; unafraid and unabashed self-appointed Mayor of Southwest Sunnyvale, California; here to serve the people of the Birdland Neighborhood and make this place a safer place for all...Because I could probably do a better job at running this ship than many of you overpaid government jokers out there who are reading this email right now...

And a similar but more expensive and labor intensive long-term approach would be to create new glow in the dark safety cones made out of the same kind of glow in the dark materials used in the old Wham O Superballs that many of us grew up with; so the afterglow would last off into the night and make crosswalks more visible and safer for night time pedestrians as well...As the story goes; I was walking out really drunk from a concert I had just seen at the Shark Tank and saw from a distance a safety cone placed directly over an embedded light along the walkway I was traversing...

 It was like a sudden grand drunken revelation that perhaps embedded solar powered lights could eventually be placed in the street under bolted-down safety cones to make crosswalks highly visible at night as well to make them safer for pedestrians during the night and to also choke traffic a bit to slow vehicles down to legal levels without all of flashing lights in crosswalks and/or from law enforcement... 

And the other side of this is; giving out too many traffic tickets to too many people with similar characteristics can be problematic for law enforcement when it comes to connective legal action...  

To be ridiculous and redundant and to make an obvious point all at the same time; safety cones are quite simply safe...And as if it is some sort of grand video game; most people automatically don't necessarily want to hit safety cones with their vehicles even though safety cones cause virtually no damage...And maybe it could eventually be made into a video game-like situation where GPS units could be placed within my proposed theoretical bolted down glow in the dark safety cones to somehow reward drivers who did not hit any safety cones along the way...But even though this a very intriguing idea; it could get very expensive and require bidding for contractors to actually create this kind of system; therefore my simple safety cone solution is still the best idea to get much needed traffic calming up and running yesterday..."

Note: It occurred to me that perhaps advertising could be sold and placed on the fluorescent glow in the dark safety cones to help pay for them and further some as of yet undetermined common ground; common good cause...

Posted by at

1 comment:

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)